Missing lived equals missing Kindness

JUNE 2024STORY

7/4/20244 min read

Self - love, healing, timeout, therapy so forth and so on, a whole spectrum of aids that pop up at every mention of distress of any kind

While we, the new age humans have the best of advancements available and a million minds working to sometimes offer help, sometimes offer unsolicited advise, some partial information based remedies, some over exaggerated effects of things that have worked for them or even well intended sounds of "it's all in your head, you can try harder."

It's all too good to have the new found liberty to float around the dictionary of mental wellbeing and help raise the bar of awareness, communication and accessibility.

While it does do the good it does, does it really?

The superficial social platform poking in the better life imagery does not reach the ones suffering from it in silence with no scope of help available.

Some do not have the privilege of seeking help from family or friends, some do and are made to feel guilty, ashamed or weaker for not matching the standards of a laid out behavioral template.

People you think you love the most or love you the most don't understand if a thing like depression exist, if it ever did, they weren't made aware of it then and they don't account for the so called illnesses now. The ignorance, the indifference, the cold shoulder, the unintended blame of being the lessee one, the blind eye to the shackles of breaking spirits beneath the smiling face - they cause a very simple effect - the effect of suppressing the dire need to seek help, to scream when the pain over flows, to express the heart pounding fear before it collapses.

There are lives ending lives in moments of unbearable conditions. That moment has seen days and years of undying spirits trying too hard to keep going through the tunnel. the fight was being fought.

We don't see it because we don't expect it because we don't understand the signs of drowning, the symptoms of struggling to be, the voices, the pressures, the hurt, the loneliness, the helplessness before it is laying as a cold body of pain gone wrong, wrapped in the white of hope. The hope to end the suffering.

And at this given moment, there are people in the midst of trying to keep the fight on or give in, some intense, some amplified, some marching towards the edge quite speedily.

Know of anyone? No? That's good. To not have your loved ones endure so much pain.

Know anyone? Still No? may be not an affirming No. May be you don't see what's shaking their spirits secretly within their body and minds?

It's ok, most of us don't see it. Some of us are the one's - unseen and dismissed. The empowering and self induced life of busyness is our lense to not the little things get in our way.

It isn't a crime to not be there to help but to not know if the people in your life are struggling behind closed doors, to not attempt to understand what psychological illness could do to a human mind, to dismiss, to blind, to underestimate, to judge, to humiliate, to keep the distance, to push one towards the state of unbearable extremes and to call it a suicide after you remained a harmless friend, lover, parent, stranger. Now that may be is a crime that doesn't ental a punishment.

Kudos to you on your efforts, fights, strength, successes, aspirations and the fulfilling taate of living life the best way you can. It isn't easy, it takes a hell lot of courage, persistence, sacrifices, burnouts, loss, the push to start over, it takes more than one would think but it feels worth the accomplishments

Kudos to you on that, again

Tell me if in the attempt to reach these destinations, were there times you fell off? You broke down? You were stuck? Your brain couldn't manage the chaos? The demands felt heart - piercing? Some nights felt like this was it?

Did you swim your way out? Did it heal? Did the kiss on your forehead calm your nerves? Did the presence of a friend help you try again? Did dad's hot cup of tea tell you he cares and he's going to love you just the same? Did a stranger help you cry, scream or silently let it soak in? Did someone unexpectedly hold your hand? Did someone attempt to understand your pain is real and it does not need validation or comparison?

If it did and even if it did not, look up, bud, look up from your phone screen, if you think you do care, you do want to keep your home, your loved one's safe - be a friend when you think you're one, be the brother she needs not who you want her to be with, be the human you would need when in distress, learn to pause, learn to look beyond surface, empathy is a lesser known trait, find it in yourself, don't fixate on the posts and gimmicks of kindness - learn to be kind. Learn to respect not knowing what a condition feels like. Reach out, reach within.

We are way too powerless in our ways of saving people from the storms but we are way too empowered to soften the blow, to lif souls up just by being present, to prevent the additional scars of making one feel devoid of hope, love, help or a moment of relief.

Often times the loss of humanitarian values, the lack of kindness, the love that doesn't act out of love is what drives one to the extreme end. Fighting demons, life struggles and unbearable storms hit you so hard, you tremble in and out but to be alone, to be devoid of the love you were taught was going ro hold you - that takes away the ground beneath your feet.

- Neelofer